Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
