oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
