I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
