porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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