According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
