There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
