thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
