I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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