if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
