Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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