If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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