dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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