Can i not drive my cunt home
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
