sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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