do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
