i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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