also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
