I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
