I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You took a bar mat shot.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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