i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
