Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I need a beard to bite.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
