it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
