this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
