so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
