just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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