Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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