I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
