IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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