Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
