Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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