Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
