Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
