Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
