just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
