Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
