No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
