I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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