i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
