he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
