omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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