i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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