Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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