You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
