I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
