chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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