I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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