She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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