I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
