so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
