He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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