If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
