I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize