Someone shit on the floor
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
