You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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