So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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