You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
