my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I want a musical about memes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
