problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
