garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
