Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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