why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
