I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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